I wrote this post a few years ago. I am not the same person as I was then. I am not feeling the 'raw' pain of losing a baby when I wrote that. I've had another perfect baby girl since then and have been blessed to have her here on earth for almost 2 years. I am missing my first baby girl, though. Always. I miss her so much that I can literally feel it. I always wondered what I would feel like years down the road. And at almost 4 years since I had Emma, I still miss her. Every single day. Its not the same pain, but it's there. And I know It wont be going away. When she died a piece of my heart went with her and I cannot wait to get to heaven to love on my baby girl. I say all of this because it isnt just one day. Losing a pregnancy or a baby, changes you. It changes your life and most importantly, your heart.
I dont understand the ways of my God, but boy do I trust Him. It was not my will that Emma isnt here on earth with us. But if I didnt trust Him, I wouldnt have the promise and hope that I do that surely only comes from Him. The promise that I will be reunited for eternity with my Emma and the hope that He provides for my life.
I am praying for all of you who has suffered a loss. For those of you that are years out and missing your babies and those that are in the raw, physically aching pain. Know that your babies aren't forgotten.
I posted this on instagram last week. My caption was 'My heart. Minus one piece that is in heaven'. I miss that piece in heaven so much and she will never, ever be forgotten.
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