Monday, August 24, 2009

Don't forget to smell the roses

I feel like I have been neglecting this blog...even though I have been on many nights trying to finish "emma's story". I think tomorrow will be the day... hopefully :)

I came home from work early today as I am not feeling well. I went and got the mail and it just made me smile. I received 2 packages. One was the new Selah cd, that I pre-ordered because 1. I love that group and 2. "I will carry you" is a bonus track on there that Angie Smith wrote when they found out about their Audrey. It is a great song and I think any mom who has lost a child needs to hear it - and of course anyone else as well. It is a tear jerker, so be prepared.

My next package was an anticipated Blessing Ring (go to link for a description of a Blessing Ring), from Elaine @ Design Etc She is a talented woman who is expecting her second baby in October. She has a special place in my heart/prayers, as well as her soon to be daughter. Here is "emma's" Blessing Ring: I think it turned out great. I emailed Elaine awhile back and she was so sweet to help me figure out what I wanted to do for our Blessing Ring. I wanted a place where I can display all of Emma's cards and that could be moved and placed pretty much anywhere. I forgot to take a picture of the back(of course), the actual "blessing" and I am not going to do it I will be sure to post that soon. I will also post a picture when I have all of the cards on there. Let me just say I LOVE how it turned out and I appreciate it so much. Thanks Elaine!!
We had a great weekend. My beautiful niece was dedicated to the Lord on Sunday, and it was a great service. Let me tell you it took all I had not to break down in tears as all of the families were walking up on stage with their precious babies. I so wished we were up there with Emma. I was overjoyed to see many HEALTHY babies, along with my sweet niece, who we love so so much. My wonderful sister in law is so thoughtful, and really made it easier on me (us). She ordered a bouquet of flowers and had them centered in between all of the food for the get together after the service. There was a note under it that said "In honor of Emma Joy Nixon, 11-6-08". It was such a wonderful gesture and I appreciated it so much. They gave them to us when we left as well, they are so beautiful and I love looking at them. Here there are so you can (sort of) enjoy them as well Aren't they beautiful?!! I love the many colors and different flowers, especially the Lily's in the front. When I got home from work today I was smelling them and started crying. It reminded me of the many flowers we received when we lost Emma, and especially the smell. Our house smelt like a flower shop. I was sad when all the flowers were gone. Even though they reminded me of losing Emma, they reminded me of her. I honestly think for the rest of my life I will think of Emma when I smell flowers. I am glad for that. I know that I will never forget to stop and smell the roses. I look forward to smelling many more flowers and thinking of Emma. Thank you Bethany, for the flowers and the thought. It meant so much.
Well I am going to try and go to bed, in hopes to get rid of whatever it is I am dealing with. Being sick is the pits.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Be Still

Tonight I am sad. I am having major moments and don't know why. I am sorry if you have emailed and I haven't responded. I promise I will. We were super busy this weekend and I think that is partly why I am sad tonight, as I didn't have much needed "Angie time" where I could relax and reflect, what I so love doing. I think about Emma, pray and ask God to be with us in everything we do and that we are able to shine through our sadness. Oh I just miss her. I wish I could hold her one last time.

Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10). This verse has been on my heart the past couple of days. So I am tyring to be still and know the He is my God and knows my path. I am so thankful to have my faith in our Lord , that I will be able to see my baby girl in heaven someday soon.


Saturday, August 8, 2009

Show us your life: Wedding Reception and Honeymoon

I am late again with posting along with Kelly's Korner Show us your life - Wedding reception and Honeymoon. We had a beautiful reception and it was oh so much fun. I am tired and want to go to bed soon, but thought I would post pictures of our wonderful night with brief captions :)

My mom and I made our centerpieces, we had wreaths with berries around them and then vases with floating candles in the center (my poor mom has about a thousand vases now :)
We also made the reception program, giving the MANY guests an idea of how the night was going to unfold.

Here is my adorable cousins again, Jack and Kylie. This is when the wedding party entered, I have the best pictures of them!

The wedding party sitting down at our head table...we (I) couldn't wait to sit down!

Seen this picture before?? I love it and think I have posted it at least a couple times on here before....

Here we are dancing away!

Wedding party dance - or talk??

I don't know how we ended up taking a picture against a plain wall...!

A fun tip about our wedding reception...I am 1/2 Danish, and my dad's side of the family is all Dane, gets a little crazy sometimes! Anyways - every Christmas we have a tradition of dancing around the Christmas tree and sing a traditional song along with many other Christmas songs. I was terrified to bring Josh to our Christmas, but thankfully he was a trooper and jumped right in when we started dancing around the tree! Anyways - since our wedding was so close to "Lil Yuleoften" (Danish Christmas celebration) on the 23rd, we thought it would be fitting to dance around the Christmas tree at our reception! I was a little nervous to see what everyone on Josh's side thought, and our other friends and relatives who are not accustomed to this fun tradition...but it was a hit and a great memory!

I had to wear 4 1/2 inch heals to look remotely tall compared to my hubs, as he is 6'1 and I am almost 5 ft. So clearly by the end of our night my sister was on the ground taking my shoes off. I was beyond tired!

It was a beautiful, wonderful event that we have SO many memories of and are so grateful for everyone that came and helped us out! It was just a great day!

We didnt go on a honeymoon, as we didnt want to miss out on all of our Christmas festivities with all of our families that shared in our wedding. We were planning one but then was put off when I got pregnant and then we just decided to wait...and then we went on a Cruise this past May for Tonya and Dave's Wedding - so we considered that our honeymoon a year later! Just with many family members - but fun!



P.S. - I have been adding little bits to Emma's story to post but am just not there yet. I have had a couple of rough days the past week and have not made it through my final thoughts :) It will be up shortly. Thank you for all your prayers and support!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

FYI - Long month of whining ahead...

Tonight is my first night of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and all I can say is oh my. I started it at 8:00 and at 8:04 I was dying. Literally about to pass out. I don't know how I made it through all 20 minutes (yes that is it!) and survived. I think I looked at the clock every chance I got and it always said 8:09. I felt like I had been doing it for an hour already! I know if I can keep this up - I will see results (hopefully). I need to see results, as I am just sick of looking and feeling this way. Losing a baby is hard enough to have to be frustrated and completely annoyed with yourself to add to it. So Jillian - please shred my lbs! I will be so thrilled if this works! Day one - check! Now just the 29 more days to go...agh! My thighs are already sore as I am laying in bed...this is going to be a long month of whining on here - just an fyi :)

Tomorrow is August 6th. I cannot believe how fast the time flies around here. 9 months since I delivered my sweet baby girl. 9 months is how long I should have been pregnant for. I remember when I first got pregnant I thought how 9 months is forever away. Although I cannot believe that it has already been 9 months, I still have my days of wondering how everyone else continues on with their lives (unfortunately myself mostly included in that) though Emma isn't here with us. Why doesn't everyone else stop on the 6th of every month? Why doesn't everyone else get tears in their eyes and a pain in their heart when they hear or see the name Emma? Why doesn't everyone else replay every event that occurred that day she was born over and over in their head incessantly? Will that change? I am not sure. But I do know that even though I feel these things and have these thoughts, I know God is protecting me and providing for us in more ways that I can say. When I have those thoughts/feelings I will talk and pray to Him and He gets me through it. Every minute, every second of every day. Thank you Lord, for protecting and loving me with all you have.

I am working on Emma's story - so stay tuned, for those who do not know all of the details. I thought it would be good to have it out there, as that is what this blog was founded/created on. Oh and for my workout complaints...

goodnight my sweet princess - mommy misses you to pieces.