5 years

I cant believe it has been 5 years since this wonderful day! 

   I love this man more than words can say and I am so thankful for him and our relationship!  we've been through so much and there is no one Id rather spend it with! 

 

Happy Anniversary, babe!  Looking forward to our night and the rest of our lives!

Christmas Pj's

Im a day late - but wanted to link up with Meredith's blog for the Christmas Pj's because lets be honest - I am obsessed.  Between those and Christmas outfits I just love it all!!!  And - I am getting double wear out of them because I like to buy a little big - so hoping Kal can wear some next year as well!  As she is wearing some this year that were last year's!  Bonus! 

And because we have way more Christmas pj's than Friday's in December - Ill double up :)

 

 These would be last year jammies - a little short and snug but hey!  They work ;)

 her infamous 'cheese' face.  Ha!  

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!!! Im hoping to have birthday party pictures on this week!  And maybe a video if I am gusty enough (because it showcases a HUGE mom fail)

Happy 2nd Birthday Kallen!

My sweet, sweet, Kallen.  

Today you are 2 years old.  My heart just aches that these past 2 years have just flown by in a blink. 

Im not quite sure what happened to my teeny baby and I dont like that it has gone so quick, but you are growing up so fast and have developed quite the personality to say the least.  

Over the past 2 years we have truly learned so much about you.  You are so full of life and such a joy to be around.  You are so sweet, caring and tenderhearted.  Melts my heart to watch you playing with your babies and with your friends and cousins!  

You are also very independent and a tad stubborn and sassy.  Daddy and I think you got that from the both of us, which will be interesting come the teen years, since you already keep us on our toes.  :)

I cannot believe how much you have changed since last year!  You have truly grown into such a little girl and are a baby no more! (Which makes my mama heart SO sad!!)

Your smile and laugh just light up the room!  

 

     I pray that you always want to give your mama kisses.  And that you know you are loved by us beyond measure, no matter what.  You have blessed us more than I will ever be able to explain.  

Happy 2nd Birthday, baby girl! Mommy & Daddy love you to pieces and are so thankful for your beautiful life!!!!

Just your avg Thanksgiving 2012 post...1.5 weeks later...

I think my last 4 posts mentioned how I am so behind on here.  So I wont 'say' it again, but we can all think it.  It's ok, I know it's true.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving and ate entirely way to much.  But it was all yummy and so happy to spend it with those we love! 

 Joshua was off early on Wednesday so we went for an early dinner to P.F. Chang's.  So good.  Our favorite is the lettuce wraps! 

 we shared these meals and brought some home, no worries ;)

 Well it sure is! 

 On Thanksgiving day I was able to snuggle this precious little boy.  I mean, how sweet is he?  Simply perfect!

 Kal playing with Uncle Jayson and Hope!

 Kal is pretty spoiled on my side of the family because she is the only young great grandchild.  So clearly she was given the homemade whipping cream mixer. 

 Grandma & Grandpa N got kal a tent for her early bday gift.  She loves it, and was being such a ham that night (clearly on a sugar high!)

 We woke up to this lovely snowfall the day after Thanksgiving!  Love it!

 She wasnt too sure, but got the hang and ventured off the patio eventually!

 

 

 So much fun!! 

 More obscenely large tent playing.......

 She looks so big sleeping in her big girl bed!!!

 Started a new series at church.  So humbling and such a great reminder leading up to Christmas!

 It was pajama day at church and I think Kal loved running around not being confined with her dresses...

 playing with Great Grandpa after church! 

 

And sitting with Uncle Chrissy!  I dont know why we didnt get any with Auntie Nikki - need to do during Christmas break for sure!!!  

I cannot believe Kallen will be 2 this week!!!  Where has the time gone?!

Scentsy

I decided to host an online Scentsy party - mainly because I have heard so many great things recently and thought they would make great Christmas gifts.  If you aren't finished by now of course :)  There is a beautiful Christmas Nativity warmer wrap on there that I love so much!

Here is a little tidbit about Scentsy if you haven't heard about them -
Scentsy began with a simple idea — a safe, wickless alternative to scented candles — and quickly grew into one of the most successful direct selling companies in the world. This wickless concept is simply decorative ceramic warmers designed to melt scented wax with the heat of a light bulb instead of a traditional wick and flame

When you order it is shipped directly to your house - such a convenience! 

Here is the link to look at the products and shop - once you get there I believe you have to click on "Angie's Party'
https://brewerjodi.scentsy.us/Scentsy/Buy

Happy shopping! 

four years.

happy birthday to my sweet, precious, and perfect girl.  I cannot believe that four years has gone by since Ive held you.  four years seems like so much time but it also feels like just yesterday.  You are incredibly missed and there aren't words that I can describe from the ache that my heart literally feels when I think of you and wish you were here.  I don't know what these last years would have been like if you were here on earth but I without a doubt know they would have been filled with insurmountable love and joy.  You are missed at every family get together, fun outings, new traditions, and most of all the moments throughout the day that I would have loved just being your mama and watching you and your sissy play.  She thinks 'older' kids are the best thing since sliced bread, so I know she would love having her big sister here to follow around and admire.  I sure know that I would have loved every second having two girls to love on each and every day.      

I miss so much of you.  I miss all the things I never had the chance of enjoying with you.  I am so grateful for my hope and trust in Jesus.  I would not have the promise of holding you again without my faith in Him.  I just cannot imagine not seeing that sweet face again.

Emma, I cant wait to see you perfect and healthy in heaven.  And give you kisses for every second that you were gone and more.  
 Happy Birthday, sweet girl.  Mama and daddy love you to the moon and back and miss you more than words can say.  I know you are having such a wonderful birthday with Jesus and I long for the day to celebrate with you!    

Pregnancy and infant loss day

Today is pregnancy and infant loss day. 

I wrote this  post a few years ago.  I am not the same person as I was then.  I am not feeling the 'raw' pain of losing a baby when I wrote that.  I've had another perfect baby girl since then and have been blessed to have her here on earth for almost 2 years.  I am missing my first baby girl, though.  Always.  I miss her so much that I can literally feel it.  I always wondered what I would feel like years down the road.  And at almost 4 years since I had Emma, I still miss her.  Every single day.  Its not the same pain, but it's there. And I know It wont be going away.  When she died a piece of my heart went with her and I cannot wait to get to heaven to love on my baby girl.  I say all of this because it isnt just one day.  Losing a pregnancy or a baby, changes you.  It changes your life and most importantly, your heart. 

I dont understand the ways of my God, but boy do I trust Him.  It was not my will that Emma isnt here on earth with us.  But if I didnt trust Him, I wouldnt have the promise and hope that I do that surely only comes from Him.   The promise that I will be reunited for eternity with my Emma and the hope that He provides for my life.    

I am praying for all of you who has suffered a loss.  For those of you that are years out and missing your babies and those that are in the raw, physically aching pain.  Know that your babies aren't forgotten. 

I still cling to some of my favorite verses that got me through the darkest of days.   

'Be still and know that I am God' Psalm 46:10

'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden in light' Matthew 11:26.

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy" Psalm 126:5 

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding' Proverbs 3:5
   

I posted this on instagram last week.  My caption was 'My heart.  Minus one piece that is in heaven'. I miss that piece in heaven so much and she will never, ever be forgotten.   

***Please visit one of the following blogs for the Silent Auction for the Turner Family starting today as well!:

life sweet life

Sheshe made 

life in the green house 

knee deep in munchkin land

the getts times