I am looking forward to 2010. 2009 was a challenging and turbulant year for me (us). Dealing with the loss of our sweet Emma was difficult to say the least. We are still navigating ourselves through our new normal. I feel like I have a pretty good "handle" on this new normal...and then ill see an adorable little girl with blonde hair and ill wonder if Emma would have had curly hair and so on and so forth. Or ill hear the name Emma and I think my heart actually stops for a second. Actually stops. It is a little bittersweet going another year without Emma. I know those years will continue to tack on and I know that our life on earth is miniscule compared to our eternity in heaven. But it is still difficult to think about. I will always have my moments and E will always have a piece of my heart in heaven. She has an insurmountable place in my heart here on earth and I cannot wait to see her happy and healthy when I get there.
I hope all of you have a wonderful new years! Ill share my resolutions...and I am determined (right now) to follow through!!
- Grow in my relationship with God, which includes spending more time with him. I want to make it a daily priority rather than my every 4 days or weekly laziness.
- I also want to be a better wife. I have taken alot of my hurt and anger out on Josh and he doesnt deserve it. Fortunately for me he loves me even though I have had (have) many emotional breakdowns this past year. What a great guy :)
- I need to lose at least 20 lbs. Seriously. Goodbye chips, linguine, and chipotle. We know its a love/hate relationship and from now on...I am going to hate you (hopefully)
- Now I dont know if this is a "resolution" more than a dream...but more than anything I want to be a mom to a child here on earth. I trust that day will come...hopefully sooner than later but I am going to try my best not to worry and bring all my fears and desires to God. That is what He wants. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
- I want to help others more often. I have been on both sides (serving/receiving) and have felt that joy of helping others and know how much it helps when your going through a rough time in your life. Those who come to your side when your at your lowest point will never be forgotten and will always have a special place in your heart.