I just LOVE fall! I know I have said this before but I think it really is ultimately my favorite time of year! I love the leaves changing, the crisp cool weather, hot tea, having the windows open, sweatshirts and sweatpants, long walks at night (or in the morning), football, my many shows, Thanksgiving & then CHRISTMAS!! And as much as I love fall, I feel this looming cloud right over my shoulder that is approaching FAST. November 6th is right around that corner. I absolutely cannot believe it will be a year since I had my baby girl. I did not know how I would be a year away from losing Emma. I wish I could be planning her first birthday. Ahhh I long to plan birthday parties. It's hard that I have to be thinking of what we can do to honor and remember her on her first birthday. I dont know what to do. I dont know if I should lay in bed all day or actually plan a party. I dont know if I want everyone around or just be alone (with Josh of course). I just have no clue of what to do. Any ideas? I am making a "parent's box" that I will bring to United Hospital, where we had Emma. We received this box and it was great. There was a camera in there, baby blanket and outfit, a kit to make Emma's hand/foot prints, a book on what to do after losing your baby, and some other resources. As much as I didnt want to be getting this box because we had lost Emma, it was nice to have. You dont go to the hospital prepared to lose your child. So I decided that although no one wants this box, they need to have one in this situation. I am slowly adding to it...trying to pretend I still have lots of time.
Well friends, I am going to finish cleaning and then go to church nursery tonight while J has all the guys here for a bachelor party. My Favorite Sister in Law, my niece and I are going to hangout after I am done with nursery and watch Twilight-have I not expressed my obsession with Edward Cullen enjoyment of these books on here?? Maybe I should wait until you know me a little better so you dont think I am a crazy woman who is enthralled with Edward Cullen has a little crush on Edward...! Needless to say I am looking forward to that. Have a great weekend and I promise Ill get better at updating soon! (Your welcome Destinee!)
Angie
p.s....my brother has another game today so GOOD LUCK CHRIS/Go Warriors! And it is my dad's bday today - Love you dad and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
It's so hard knowing that anniverary date is approaching. I love your idea of making a parent box. Heidi did that too, and I think I might do that next May as well. Some of my favorite things we did on Matthew's birthday were planting a tree with a heart-shaped hole, donating books and toddler toys to the hospital playroom, singing Happy Birthday while wearing 1-year old party hats, eating ice cream cake, and releasing balloons with notes attached. I think we all wore baby blue that day too. Two days later on the anniversary of losing him, I listened to a CD of music we compiled in memory of him. We lit a candle during the day and set a luminary outside at night. We also watched our video footage from the hospital. I spent much of the day crying in bed while Scott spent much of the day painting...needing something busy to do while he thought of Matthew. The girls crawled in bed with me and we sang songs that Scott and I sung to Matthew in the hospital. At the end of the day, I wrote a letter to Matthew. It was a good release for me because I felt like I was speaking right to him.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do, whether it's just you and Josh or with your families, it will be right for you. You might not even know until the day is here, but it will come to you what you need to get through the day. I'm here if you want to chat at all. Hugs, Krista