Tuesday, June 9, 2009

12 am?? What is this!

When we first lost Emma, it was difficult for me to sleep. I was so exhausted but just could not fall asleep. Well I would fall asleep on occasion and then be up by 2. That clearly didnt help my mood either...

Anyways, for some reason I have been having the same problem lately. Not completely the same, I now cannot fall asleep until about 12 am or later. It is not that I am not tired, trust me I am. But when I go to bed with Josh (about 9,930) I lay there. So I decide to lay there but all I do is think...sometimes that is a good thing, sometimes I just want to fall asleep. It is so frustrating. I hope this goes away soon and I get back to a normal schedule- It makes life so much easier!

So just thought I would say that, I am going to try and lay back down again. Goodnight our sweet girl, we miss and love you dearly.


  1. Thank you for being a friend to me through this horrible time in our lives...This is the first time I've been to your blog. Your sweet Emma is beautiful. I'm saying a prayer for you tonight.
    Thank you again for the encouragement you've been to me.

  2. hey there. found you on the blog from "looking for blue sky." Wanted to share...we lost our daughter Cana last oct. 9th. She was 1 day old. She had trisomy 18. We did get to carry her full term so we are blessed to have those days when she was safe in my womb. So grateful.

    I wanted to comment on this one post in particular because i too spend LOTS of time awake till 12 or 1 or later. And for me too, it's not that i'm not tired..exhausted. drained. defeated. But i think it's because my body is still getting used to the fact that yet another has ended and i feel incomplete. I feel like there's something i was SUPPOSED to do....Oh yeah?! Take care of my baby girl! It's like getting used to the fact that my body thought i'd be busier during the day...tending to her..and now that she's not, i'm still adjusting to it. Or..maybe it's just the quiet that i find the most discomfort in. Not always..but sometimes its just the only time of the day where it's just me and God and no distractions.

    and we have a boxer too. Named Wrigley. For the Cubs...which i inherited a love for with the marriage vows, too.

    With you on this journey..the first year.


Thanks so much for your sweet comments!