I have "enjoyed" writing down my thoughts ever since we lost Emma. I would jot down a fear here and there (regarding our future) but mostly it is things I wanted to tell her and teach her...I did go to school to be a teacher- I mean the girl would have been going crazy by the age of 2.
I think that is why I started this "blog" that really I only read (that I know of :) I can go back to my thoughts, fears and just everything to remember this time- rather than flipping through my many post-its, random comments, etc...
I remember when it was hard to get out of bed, and to tell the truth, I still have some of those days. I say that I just want to have a "lazy day" and "dont feel like doing much" to most but when I say that to the hubby he knows what that means. It means that I am missing Emma and just cant put on my happy face for the day. I had one of those days last Saturday. It was great. We talked about Emma, I had some time to reflect on "how I am really doing" and many prayers. I might need a couple more of those days here...
If anyone else is reading this- I would so appreciate prayers for a sweet little girl who is having a shunt put in on Friday. This was completely unexpected (like most things are) - "C" is a happy, cute as can be 16 month old who is very near and dear to my heart. Please pray for her health, surgery, doctors operating, and her parents comfort in the Lord. We know He is in control. Thank you!
Well I am going to try and go to bed...we will see if I can sleep now...Goodnight little one- we miss you dearly and even though we wish you were here- we are so happy you are safe in the arms of Jesus. We love you.
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I know what you mean. I still have days that are harder than others without my sweet Peyton. God bless you and I pray that you will have more good than bad days ahead. God bless you as I know it is hard to be apart of this club that no one wishes to be a part of.
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